How are you feeling these days? Are you content, comfortable, satisfied, and happy? If you can say “yes” to all of these, congratulations. You are living the life you have always wanted, and you are among a tiny percentage of the people on this planet.
When most of us think about our personal lives, we think of health, career, and relationships. And that’s a good place to begin. But that narrow mindset eliminates other aspects of our lives that may need cleaning up if we want to answer yes to the above.
So let’s break down all of the facets of your life and how you can do a full house cleaning.
Health and Fitness
Without physical health and fitness, nothing else will fall into place. And why is that? It’s because you won’t have the energy and the stamina to pursue any type of cleanup in the other areas of your personal life.
This does not mean that you have to join a gym and make time to work out. It does mean that you have to do those things that you already know are right:
- Preventive care = regular checkups
- Eating right
- Getting at least moderate amounts of exercise – walking, jogging, staying hydrated
When you are physically fit, you can move on to other cleanups.
Intellectual Fitness
What have you done lately to develop your intellect? Or is your brain in a state of atrophy? If you don’t “exercise” your brain, you won’t grow as a person. So, how do you clean this up?
- Identify those areas of knowledge and skills you want to acquire
- Find the resources you need – go back to school; take an online course, etc.
Intellectual fitness = personal growth
Emotional Fitness
Emotional skills involve the ability to keep an evenness of temperament no matter what life throws at you. It’s not that you don’t get angry, frustrated, stressed, sad, etc. It’s your response that is the measure of your emotional fitness.
If you find yourself succumbing to lashing out with strong emotional responses, then you have some tidying up to do. This cleaning up is not a short-term thing like getting physically fit. It’s really a lifetime commitment. And it may require professional help too. Here are some things you can do to get control of your emotions:
- When an emotionally challenging situation arises, stop, take 12 deep breaths, and don’t utter a word until that breathing has calmed you.
- Get enough rest. Emotions are always rawer when you are tired.
- Focus on those things you are grateful for rather than the negative things in your life.
- Stop comparing yourself to others
- Spend time with people who make you laugh and feel good about yourself.
Spiritual Fitness
Whether you have religious beliefs or not, spiritual fitness goes beyond those. It’s about your connection to the universe and an inner peace that brings calm contentment. How do you tidy up your spiritual fitness? Try these:
- Read up on spirituality, so you have an understanding of the concept
- Meditation. Again, if you are new to this practice, do some research or join a class
- Yoga. Again, take a class, either online or in person.
What you’ll find is that spiritual fitness will provide you with direction and a sense of purpose.
Relationship Fitness
There are actually sub-categories here – love/romantic relationships, familial relationships, work relationships, and social relationships – and yet there are commonalities in all of these various bonds. When you have relationship fitness, you are able to easily relate to others, to be sensitive to their needs and wants while still ensuring that your needs and wants are met too.
So if a relationship is lopsided, that is, either you or the other is not getting needs and wants met, the relationship is not “fit.”
Let’s take an example of a love/romantic relationship. You have been involved in online dating as a lesbian and have hit upon the Taimi app. There you have met someone and developed quite a romance. As time goes on, your partner becomes more and more demanding and you find yourself losing some of who you are in meeting those. Time to clean up that relationship or get out.
Now, let’s look at how you get and maintain relationship fitness:
- Communicate a lot. Make your thoughts known, but learn to be a careful listener too.
- Validate the dignity of others and respect their thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.
- Set your own boundaries and respect theirs.
- Learn to say no to requests when you don’t have time or don’t feel comfortable.
General Life Fitness
This category relates to such things as finances, career, and general quality of life. So, let’s look at each of these three.
Financial Fitness
Being financially fit means that you have the right beliefs about money and that you are managing your money to achieve the financial goals you have set for yourself.
Identify your beliefs about money. Here are some common ones that impact your money management:
- “If only I had more money, it would make everything better.”
- “Money is evil.”
- “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
- “I don’t deserve money.”
- “There will never be enough money.”
- “I only live once; splurge.”
- “It’s not nice to talk about money.”
Cleaning these out of your repertoire is important if you are going to have the right relationship with money.
Now, finish the cleanup:
- Find the right balance between spending and saving
- Be firm in your self-discipline to avoid caving into immediate pleasures in favor of long-term goals.
Career Fitness
You spend a lot of your life on the job. So, it’s time to take a look at whether that job is just a means to a paycheck and financial security or fulfilling and providing purpose.
Check yourself: Do you have passion for what you are doing? Does your job connect with your goals and your values? If your answer is no, then you have some work to do.
- Identify a career that aligns with your goals and your sense of purpose.
- Determine how you will pursue that career and take the appropriate action to get there
Quality of Life Fitness
How are you feeling about your life in general? Are you doing it your way or the way others in your world dictate?
At the end of the day, are you going to die with your music still in you? So, here are your final orders:
- Take care of yourself physically, intellectually, and emotionally
- Explore your world and take it all in
- Love hard
- Follow your own path, wherever that may lead
- Contribute to humanity in your small piece of the planet.
Go forth!
